What Remains
by SpazzyBabySister
Summary: "I don't know where I'm going, and I sure as hell have no idea where I've been."  Penelope can only remember as far back as the first time she saw a walker. Why is that? As she wanders alone, she bumps into someone you might help her regain her memory.


"Motherf-" Penelope winced as she looked up at the sky. Scarce clouds drifted by at an irritatingly slow pace. A sharp pain shot through her leg as she lay still. The grass around her was wet with morning dew. She took a deep breath, filling her lungs with the crisp, cool air as she mentally berated herself for not paying attention to the ground before her and tripping over the small animal carcass that sent her tumbling down the hill. After a few moments, she sat up and studied the long gash running up the side of her right leg. It wasn't too deep, but the blood that issued from it soaked her torn jeans. "It'll stop bleeding soon enough," she said to herself as if she were used to this sort of thing. Teeth gritted, she rose to her feet and stared up the hill. Was it worth it to struggle back to the top? Did it even matter? She didn't have a destination in mind anyway so she might as well go on from where she was. With a scoff she muttered to herself, "I don't know where I'm going, and I sure as hell have no idea where I've been." Running a hand through her long, sweat-soaked hair, she sighed and started to limp away.

Penelope had no memory of her life before the outbreak. She could only remember as far back as the first time she'd faced one of those ungodly things. The stench of rotting flesh stung her nostrils, the sight of the dead skin peeling away from deteriorating muscle and bone made her nauseous, the initial impression was crippling, but she'd managed to survive somehow. When she closed her eyes, she could still feel the coldness of the tiled floor in the bathroom as she scrambled back against the wall. The creature's legs were missing, so it used its arms to drag its body toward her, a strange growling snarl echoed quietly as it drew closer. As the number of inches between them grew smaller, Penelope grew less in control of her body. She could only stare into the thing's eyes. Her blood ran cold. _Am I going to die?_ It was as though she could feel the monster's breath on her even though it hadn't yet reached her. _Is it…smiling?_ Her frame shook with disgust. Finally, just as the fiend stretched its hand out to grab her, she acted without thinking. It felt like someone else was controlling her as she pulled her leg back and smashed her booted foot into its face. Blood splattered onto her jeans and covered the sole of her boot. Still unaware of how she was able to move again, Penelope found herself on her feet, stomping the creature's head in until there was blood and dead brain matter staining the tiles.

That was it. Nothing before that. All she had was her first name. She'd tried desperately on several occasions to remember more, even just her last name, but to no avail. It was terribly frustrating. There were times when scraps of memories would surface, but nothing substantial enough to give her a real look into her past. The first time it happened was when she was running from a horde of undead. Her lungs burned as she rounded the corner of the fourth block, looking back to see how far she'd gotten from them. The very instant she turned back to see where she was headed, there was another one hardly a foot away from her. Without giving it any thought, she raised her leg and spun around, her heel colliding with the thing's face with such force, its neck snapped as its head twisted around completely. As she watched its body fall to the concrete, an image flashed in her mind. She saw a man with a stubbly beard. He was glaring at her. Then she saw a blur of other people before seeing his face again, her foot connecting with his cheek just as it had only seconds before with the undead monster. A spray of blood came from the man's mouth as his body turned along with the blow. Penelope shook her head, a pulsating pain pulling her back. Then she heard the horde approaching and resumed her running.

As the sun set, she leaned against a tree and slid to the ground. She glanced at the dried blood on her pant leg, sighing. "What am I doing? What's the point? It's not like I have a reason to be alive still. As far as I know, I'm the only one still alive." Some of her hair caught in the bark that shared the same coloring as she let her head fall back. Closing her crystal blue eyes, she breathed slowly, considering how painful it would feel to let herself be devoured by one of the monsters she'd been running from for so long. Lost in her thoughts, she didn't hear the snapping of twigs as someone came near. Had it still been light out, she might have been alerted by the shadow of the man standing over her, but since the sun had almost completely disappeared by this point, she did not notice that either. It wasn't until he spoke that she became aware of his presence. "Hot damn! She's still kickin'!"

Startled, Penelope's eyes shot open and she pulled away from the voice, scalp hurting where the roots of strands of hair stuck to the tree were. The man laughed heartily as she yanked her hair free. She stared at him, mouth agape. When he was through laughing at her, he looked back down at her. He didn't say anything, just looked at her with eyes that showed he'd been through a hell of a lot more than she could ever imagine. There was a touch of anger in his demeanor, but Penelope didn't feel afraid of him. No. She felt relieved, even happy to see him. "Are you real?"

He crouched so he was eye-level with her, eyes narrowed. "What the fuck yer on? I'm as real as yer ass."

Penelope laughed a little as the first tears she'd cried in months welled up in her eyes and began to fall. She smiled as her tears streamed down her cheeks. Her eyes travelled from his face to his right arm. She gasped at the sight of the stump. Touching her own hand subconsciously, she asked in a small voice, "How…?"

"That ain't none of yer goddam business," he growled, standing again.

She nodded, knowing it was rude to ask something like that of someone she'd only just met. There was a short silence before she offered, "I'm Penelope. You?"

"Well, darlin', name's Merle," he replied with a faint smile.

Glad he wasn't angry with her, she smiled widely at him. "I like that name. Merle. I've never heard it before."

He laughed. "Ain't nuthin special. Ya don't git out much, do ya?"

She stared at her feet. _I don't remember. _"Are you alone, too?"

As a frown formed he answered, "Yep. My own brother don't even miss me. How tha fuck a lil thang like ya end up out here?"

"I ran," she said with a sad smile. "I'm not even sure where from, actually. I just ran." Something in the back of her head bothers her when she hears the word "brother," but she doesn't know why. _Did I have a brother, too?_

Merle looked at her with a confused expression. "If ya watched where ya were runnin, maybe yer leg wouldn't be torn up."

Penelope laughed. "You're right!" She glanced at her wound again, her eyebrows furrowed. "It's weird though. It doesn't hurt like it looks it should. I feel like I've had to deal with something like this before, but…I can't remember."

He just looks at her for a moment. "Seems like a damn hard thang ta fergit. Ya sure yer not on somethin?"

She laughed again. "I'm sure." A happy sigh escapes her lips as she thinks, _Thank God for Merle. I haven't been able to really laugh since…I don't even know when._ "Merle, are you headed somewhere?"

Teeth clenched, he almost snarled, "If I knew where my brother was, I'd be headin there."

There it was again. A nagging at the back of her head when he said "brother." She clutched her head as the pain grew worse the harder she fought to remember. Feeling like her brain itself was beating, she asked, "I really have nowhere to go. Could I help you find your brother?"

He snarls as he looks at her. "What makes ya thank I need tha help of a lil girl like ya?"

Afraid to be alone again, Penelope shook her head vigorously. "I didn't mean anything by it! I just…wanted to have a reason to stay with you. I think I'll go crazy if I'm alone for much longer." As soon as she said this, she felt ashamed for being so openly selfish.

A smirk crept across Merle's face as he said, "If ya can keep up, come on. I ain't gonna take care of ya. I ain't yer daddy."

Penelope leapt to her feet with a grin. "I'll keep up!" Merle began to walk so Penelope limped as fast as she could to keep up with him. As she followed, she realized something. Why was it that "brother" would cause her to have such an unusual reaction, but nothing happened when she heard "daddy?" _I must have had a father, right? _She quickly became lost in her thoughts again. It wasn't until her forehead hit Merle's back that she snapped back into attention. He pointed to a cave and explained it would be a good place for them to sleep since the path to it would be hard for "walkers" to navigate.

Penelope fell asleep quickly for the first time since she could remember. Perhaps it was because she felt safer with a man close by. No, that wasn't it. Maybe she just felt relieved there were others who had managed to survive, too. Whatever the reason, she was grateful to not have to spend hours looking up at the stars, struggling to piece together her past with the fragments of memories she had. Not only did she fall asleep early, she also dreamed. Her dream felt like a memory from many years ago:

Rain poured down on her, stinging her numerous wounds as she leaned against an alley wall. Her knees where drawn up to her chest, her arms wrapped around them. She stared blankly at the opposite wall, pondering where to apply to for a job in order to earn some money in a proper manner. As she considered the possibilities, she failed to notice the rain had ceased to hit her. A baby's cry alerted her to a woman's presence. Looking up, Penelope saw a middle-aged woman with a baby carriage was holding her umbrella over her. "Need somewhere to stay?" the woman asked with a kind, soft voice.

Penelope shook her head. "I'm fine."

"But look at yourself, Dear. You're practically soaked through to your bones!"

"I'm fine. I can take care of myself," she said defensively.

"But you're only a girl," the woman said with genuine concern.

"I'm eighteen years old, I'm not a child!"

The woman gave her a warm smile. "You still deserve a roof over your head." Her baby began to wail. "Hush now, Lizzy," she cooed. "We'll be home just as soon as I convince this girl to stop being so stubborn."

Penelope's eyes were drawn to the crying infant. The sight of the innocent being had an effect on her cold heart. Despite her desire to reject all forms of charity, she knew the woman meant it when she said she didn't intend to return home without her, so it was with a heavy sigh that she said, "Fine. I'll go with you."

"The shower's down the hall and on the right. Go ahead and warm yourself up. I'll bring you some clean, dry clothes to change into," the woman said as she closed the front door and moved to take Lizzy out of her carriage.

Penelope looked around the small apartment curiously. Stopping on a picture of the whole happy, little family she asked, "Where's your husband?"

The woman bounced Lizzy on her hip as she replied, "About six feet underground."

Turning to face her, Penelope frowned with remorse. "I'm sorry."

The woman smiled at her kindly. "It's alright. You didn't know. Now hurry and get out of those wet clothes before you catch a cold."

With a nod, Penelope left to shower. When she was finished, she wrapped a towel around herself and peeked out the door. She saw a change of clothes sitting on the floor and picked them up, closing the door again and getting changed. Dressed again, she wandered into the living room to find the woman sitting and watching TV with Lizzy in her lap. "Thanks for the clothes."

The woman looked up and smiled at her. "Don't mention it."

Unable to suppress her suspicion, Penelope narrowed her eyes and asked, "Why are you being so nice to me?"

The woman laughed and answered, "Because you need kindness. I can tell."

"But you don't even know me. For all you know, I could be planning to kill you and your baby tonight."

The woman smiled. "I could say the same to you. Why follow me and put yourself in danger?"

"You aren't dangerous."

"How do you know?"

"I just do."

The woman laughed. "Exactly." She paused. "What's your name, Dear?"

"Penelope."

"It's nice to meet you, Penelope. I'm Sandra Dalcour."

Penelope nodded toward her. "Same here, Sandra."

Sandra smiled. Lizzy reached her arms out to Penelope. "Oh!" Sandra laughed a little at her child's reaction. "You see this? More proof you aren't someone to fear!"

Penelope couldn't help but grin at Lizzy and walk over to her. Kneeling in front of Sandra, she allowed Lizzy to grab her face. The baby giggled excitedly. Unbeknownst to Penelope, tears began to fall down her cheeks as she looked at Lizzy's innocent face. _She knows nothing. Not a damn thing about how cruel this world can be. _She kissed Lizzy's forehead tenderly. _I want to protect her from it. For as long as I can._

*Next morning*

Penelope stretched slowly as she awoke. Her eyes struggled to adjust quickly to the sunlight shining into the cave. With a lazy yawn, she sat up and looked around. Not seeing Merle, she panicked. Ignoring the dull pain in her leg, she scrambled to her feet and raced out of the cave. The very second she exited the cave, she ran into Merle, the impact sending her back, making her fall on her ass. Tears of relief danced in her eyes as she leaned against the cold cave wall. _Thank God. _She looked at what he was carrying. "What's that?"

He raised an eyebrow at her, inwardly questioning her intelligence. "Breakfast. What tha fuck ya thank it is?" With an air of many years of experience, Merle set down the eggs along with the mother bird and pile of wood he'd gathered. Penelope scooted close to watch him prepare everything. She kept her eyes on him, fascinated by his every action. Merle suddenly stopped and turned to give her a funny look. "What tha fuck ya breathin down my neck fer?"

Embarrassed, Penelope backed away a little. "Sorry. It's just that I've never seen someone prepare a meal like this."

"Well, goddam say sumthin. It ain't that hard. Look." Merle set back to work, taking the time to explain to her why he did everything he did. When he was done and serving up breakfast, she grinned widely at him. With another funny look, he began to eat. "Ya best git ta eatin. Tastes like shit when it gits cold."

Penelope nodded quickly and ate, savoring each bite with much enjoyment. It felt like it was the best meal she'd ever had. Halfway done with her food, she swallowed quickly and said, "Oh yeah!"

"Damn, kid. Ya eat like yer in tha military," he responded with a small, low chuckle.

Penelope smiled and blushed a little out of embarrassment. "Merle?"

Looking up at her from his food he asked, "Huh?"

Her smile turned sweet and bright as she said, "Good morning." It gave her an unbelievably happy feeling to be able to greet someone in the morning.

"Ain't shit good bout it," he replied, looking at her with the same look from earlier that revealed his doubt of her intelligence.

Ignoring his response, she went back to eating, humming happily to herself. When she'd finished, she stood up and went to the cave entrance. As she took in the view, she stretched a little. _Things feel like they're…looking up. _She grinned to herself, glancing back at Merle. _Something about him feels really familiar. Maybe being around him could trigger some more memories._ Various sounds of the forest calmed her as she closed her eyes. For a moment, she had almost forgotten what the world had become.


End file.
